50 Shades of False Assumptions

I has thought to blog my way through the issues I have with the representation of BDSM in 50 Shades of Grey, but luckily, I found that someone had already done the hard work for me.

Lyla Cicero, the genius behind Undercover In The Suburbs, breaks it down:

With the increasing media attention to BDSM (Bondage, Domination, Sadism and Masochism) it’s more important than ever to be clear on what BDSM/kink is and is not. 

With the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey the kink community was caught. On the one hand, the community wanted to build on the attention and increased acceptance of kink lifestyles, on the other hand it wanted to dispel the aspects of this portrayal seen as clearly unrealistic. In my feminist circles, folks struggled with wanting to accept women’s choices of sexual expression while having concerns about BDSM being inherently oppressive to women. 

As a sex-positive feminist who is training to be a sex therapist, I feel many of these concerns grow out of misinformation about what kink is and what causes folks to be into it. In order to make space for feminists who are part of the kink community, be good allies to those with diverse sexual interests and preferences, and work to continue to expand (rather than limit) the possibilities for sexual expression, we need to be clearer about what kink is and isn’t.  

Myth One:  BDSM is abusive and/or oppressive to women. 

For our own sake, and in order to support folks in the Kink/BDSM communities, we have got to learn to differentiate between fantasy and reality, consent and non-consent, and understand the concept of play.The BDSM motto is “safe, sane and consensual.”  We’ll get to the safe part later. The sane is there because one must be mentally healthy to fully consent. So if BDSM requires consent by a sane individual, insisting it is abusive or oppressive means insisting a female engaging in it is ill-equipped to give consent. 

Assuming a woman who consents is agreeing to abuse or oppression is no better than assuming a women who chooses to have an abortion can’t be trusted to understand or make that decision. I think many feminists (and others) wonder how someone with self-respect would consent to BDSM because they fail to distinguish between a behavior happening during abuse, and the same behavior occurring in another context. I allow my toddlers to swat at me, bite me, and kick me in the face. I wouldn’t let my co-worker do those things. Holding down a two year old to change her diaper is not the same as holding down a child to sexually abuse her. So why then, would we assume being tied up by a sexual partner with full, open communication and consent is the same as being tied up during a sexual assault? There is a fundamental difference. Being tied up, handcuffed, spanked, flogged, gagged, is all about context. 

Read more on her blog . . .

'Allo, Dahlings!

Now now, I know I've been gone far, far too long. But, at least when I come back, I bring you goodies!

This lovely clip I found while I was browsing around the internet with my BFF Hitachi, and I have to say, I was quite charmed! He's pretty enough to be in a cologne ad, and she's got a nice lithe body and great tush. The nails, not so much. The moaning, not so much. But the background music, eet is so, so so very FRENCH, and thus we come to the difficult decision between the Parisian Cafe feel of this fuck and the eternal desire to not listen to porn stars making fools of themselves.

This time, I chose in favor of the music. Bon appetite!!

 

Free Vintage Porn VideosFree Porn Movies on DrTuber.com

Sexy Orthodox Jews!

Or at least that's what they look like -- today we take a look at some pictures from a fashion spread set to be published in BellaMode, an Israli fashion magazine. Apparently, the ultra-orthodox community of the Haredim in Israel have been campaigning to maintain gender separation on the buses that pass through their neighborhoods -- so naturally, fashion has responded with a stylish, cheeky, and incredibly sexy fashion shoot on a bus. Hooray for politically-motivated nipples!

As Gawker points out, "no one ever accused fashion industry types of getting their point across in a subtle manner."

But I am LOVING the sexy-yet-covered thing that's happening here :).

Some critics have questioned if this objectifies women. As for my take? If she and he are consenting, then everyone else needs to worry about more important questions.  All this posturing on whether something is objectification is just about as useful as arguing about whether God exists or if penis size really matters -- there will always be people on either side, and no matter how the discussion concludes, there still won't be a final answer. Now, back to the sexy, after the jump.

Sexy Scala!

Or should I say, Sexy Scala and Kolacny Brothers? What I love about this video is the playfulness, tenderness, and erotic closeness exhibited by most of the couples, as well as the separation and pain demonstrated by the one unhappy couple. The excellent lingerie helps too, of course:

And now, since I know that was rather strikingly low in nudity levels, here's some sexy hardcore to keep you pervs happy - after the jump.

Having Fun With Sex

Yes, I know - sex is erotic, sex is serious stuff, sex is just so damn desirable -- how could I ever laugh at it?

But think about it - is there any other time that you are going to go up to another person and say, "Excuse Sir and/or Madame, would you mind sticking your dingywhilp in my tiddlybop?" Unlikely. In fact, despite sex's elevated status in human civilization, the inherant humor involved in the sexual act has been unable to escape consideration and depiction in popular media. Today's post is about that.

First, I bring you the best condom ad I've ever seen:

Followed by a hilarious take on those other things your grandparents might have used the phone for:

And finally, the sex education I'm not sure I'd want to receive, but certainly hope is out there.

Real Sex Education - The funniest videos are a click away

Femdom Art!

Oh StumbleUpon, how I love you. Today's post is brought to you by the interest "FemDom," and the letter S -- for Sexy, of course. Check out these great examples of erotic art!

Femdom Wrestling Match, by Namio Haukawa, found here.

Elegant Giantess, by Milo Manara, found here.

I love how both of these images are erotic without nudity, and the playfulness with which the figures are rendered. Of course, I also came across some images that are slightly less highbrow:

Interesting how she is both the dominant and still an objectified figure . . . found here.

I absolutely need this paper doll, 100%. Found here.

It's a little overdue, but this one was too cute to resist! Found here.

And then, there was the surprising, slightly jarring, chuckle-inducing and questionably PC image found later in my Stumbling:

Let the cultural sensitivity arguments commence!

On Sunday, Odessa promises some titties, and finally posts some of the sexy sexy story she promised. Kisses!

Dirty, Sexy Learning

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you innaugurated it in your own special way, with plenty of explosions (not just of the firework variety).

Not too much time for a post today, I'm afraid - but I did want to share with you some printed porn con knowledge that I desperately need to have on my boudoir bookshelf:

Available from Amazon.com here, here, here, and here. Or go order them from your local bookstore!

 In this series of books, editor Dian Hanson takes the reader on a journey through the history and social significance of the featured body part, accompanied by sexy sexy pictures spanning decades of pornography and erotica. Of course, the menfolk aren't forgotten:

Double your pleasure here.

Sounds good to me -- buy them for the articles, read them for the pictures . . . or something like that.