Sex Myths That Are Kinda True: Married People Don't Have Sex

Actual quote from a party last night:

"You and your husband, when you were dating, had sex at least two, three times a week, right? And now that you're married, the sex becomes less and less of a priority?"

Oh wow, how did Random Guy know? Yes, I'm married, and although I may be what I define as "highly sexual" - or as my husband likes to say in certain situations, "a horny little slut" - my relationship absolutely falls into this stereotype.

One of these couples is not having sex regularly. Hint: it's not the couple with a pet hand.

As my nickname might suggest, we do have sex - but it's more on a once-every-couple-of-weeks schedule than the two-to-three-times-a-week I would prefer. The reason? I suspect adult life.

Yes, when we were dating we were in college -- and even though we both had jobs and classes and homework and social lives, we still didn't have the headache of a full-time job and the upkeep of a house. We were young and full of hormones and capable of going multiple nights in a row without sleep. Now, since slowing metabolisms make going to the gym a necessary habit and savings plans require regular cooking at home, we can easily find ourselves occupied from 6:30am when we wake up for work until 10:30pm when we've cooked, eaten and cleaned up from dinner, put in an hour-long workout, started a load of laundry and taken some time for personal hobbies (hello, blogging). By 10pm, I'm already starting to yawn, and by 11pm I am dragging my butt into bed. Yes, there is that half hour, but that means we both need to have enough energy and determination to actually get around to sexing instead of just half-heartedly fondling each other before rolling over and falling asleep. Don't get me wrong, I find my husband incredibly sexy - but there are some nights when I would rather just lay there and let him do the hard work, while he wants exactly the opposite. Were we to add kids into the mix, I imagine the sex rate would fall faster than Hugh Hefner's dick without Viagra.

"I'm sorry girls, I'm just not up to it tonight."

Thankfully, no matter how closely at times we may seem to resemble it, "married people don't have sex" really is only a stereotype, and stereotypes are regularly broken. When we do get around to having sex -- when there's enough time, and we have enough energy, and there aren't any urgently important things we have to get done instead - the sex is really, really good. No, it's not always earth-shaking-orgasms-that-leave-you-wondering-who-you-were-before-you-felt-that good -- usually, it's more good like homemade-macaroni-and-cheese good, getting-a-scalp-massage good, feeling-warm-and-loved-and-safe good -- but sometimes it is.

For everything else, there's Mastercard.

Tune in Tuesday for Odessa's search for art in the the porn world.